>be me
>parents go shopping for a couple hours
>I'm left home alone
>I get really horny and start thinking of ways I could make wanking feel like the real thing
>remember that i have a vacuum with a plastic tube
>I insert my dick into the tube and flip the power switch on
Oh god the pain
>I try to take off the tube but can't
>by the time I turn off the vacuum my weiner is swollen and red
>parents come back home 30 minutes later
>I explain to them what happened and they take me to my docter the next day for a checkup
My parents threw away the vacuum and they try to pretend it never happened but my brother still brings it up
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